Karin's Shocking Revelation
by NarutosBrat
Summary: Miscommunication can lead to very unusual circumstances. With permission from moodiful819, this is a parody of his/her parody. I'd suggest reading that story as well, it's very good.


Karin's shocking revelation

A/N: Sasuke isn't on a psychotic 'I must take revenge on everything' kick in this. His revenge was against Danzo, who changed the order from 'All those involved in the coup plot" that the Hokage had ordered, to "the entire clan".

The original story, a masterpiece by moodiful819, had Karin drug Sasuke in the hopes of having her way with him, only to find that he's a virgin. In mine, she has a misunderstanding and misinterprets one of his dreams.

*"Oh god…" Karin said, mouth gaping like a fish as Sasuke continued to fumble with her shirt. It was true. Sasuke—the Uchiha Sasuke—was a virgin! Sure, it was partially her fault—she should've realized someone that perfect would be lacking somewhere and honestly, with his fixation with his brother and growing stronger, he would've had to sacrifice something in his schedule to fit in all that training—but still! Sasuke, a virgin?

"I can't believe this," she whispered to herself. By now, Sasuke had abandoned Karin's shirt and was curled up fast asleep, muttering archaic things like cherry blossoms in tomato swimsuits .*

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The plan was simple. Sneak into Sasuke-kun's room, and have her way with him; after dosing him with a strong sedative at dinner.

The first part of the plan had gone flawlessly, expecially considering she was the one preparing the meals for Team Hawk. She admitted that Sasuke-kun was just a tad overconfident in not even bothering to check his food or drinks, but considering how devoted to him she was, Karin guessed that he had every reason to be (of course given her stalker tendencies, one would think he'd still check it). She was actually glad that Sasuke's slight paranoia and his confidence had given her the chance to put her plan into action. Just a bit of her specially made sleepy powder, and she'd have an entire night to enjoy the sexiness that was Sasuke Uchiha.

The second part of her plan had gone just as flawlessly. Sasuke rarely slept with his door locked; he really didn't need to. There were few shinobi stronger than Sasuke-kun, and with four other ninja nearby, one who was the progenetor of the Curse Seal, you'd have to be extremely gifted in stealth to get by unnoticed. Luckily for her, this also played right into her hands, giving her another in to finally claim her prize.

It was at the third part of her plan, however, that she met a snag. As she got to the bed, and was about to make her move- after a minute and a half of drooling at his awesomeness- she heard the Uchiha mutter in his sleep.

"Mmn, Naruto- chan, you naughty fox." That single comment stopped her flawless plan in its tracks. Karin froze as Sasuke let out a little giggle.

A GIGGLE!

"Stop, that tickles."

"Oh god…" Karin said, mouth gaping like a fish as Sasuke continued to snuggle with his pillow. It was true. Her perfect man—the Sasuke Uchiha—was gay! How could she have allowed herself to be so fooled? Sure, it was partially her fault; she really should've realized someone that perfect would be lacking somewhere, and honestly, with his fixation on his brother, then that old man, so obvious. And that outfit, _Seriously!_. It was staring her right in the face the whole time.

But still! Sasuke, was gay?

Though now that she thought about it, it explained a few things. Like that time she had approached Sasuke topless, absolute seduction in her eyes, and he had completely ignored her after one glance. Granted she wasn't the most endowed of women, but judging from the reactions she got from Suigetsu and Juugo as she stormed from Sasuke's room that night, she definitely had some sex appeal.

"I can't believe this," She whispered to herself, glaring back down at the former object of her affection. By now, Sasuke was dry humping his pillow, muttering things about baka blonds in orange jumpsuits. Karin collapsed to the floor, her image of Sasuke's perfection completely shattered.

Now, contrary to popular belief, Sasuke wasn't gay by any means- well not any more than any other guy who'd lust after Naruto's Sexy Jutsu- but he could admit that Naruto made a damn fine woman. He had no interest in the dobe, but if the idiot ever got stuck in that Sexy Jutsu of his (Sasuke was one of the few that could tell it wasn't just a Henge, but a real transformation), all bets were off. Naruko, or whatever he was calling her now, was the absolute perfect girl to help rebuild his clan. Here, let's take a look into the twisted mind of the retarded bastard, and you'll better understand the monumental misunderstanding that had just been made.

**NB: Initiate Dream Sequence Codes 111**

_"Sasuke-sama, a very large chakra is approaching." Karin warned him._

_"How large Karin, and what does it feel like?" Sasuke asked, looking at her, only to find her blushing. Sasuke had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. "Never mind, I know how large." She only ever blushed that much around chakra levels that greatly exceeded his own, and there were few who had those that were after him; even fewer who'd come after him alone. He had an idea who it was, but it never hurt to be sure since the Raikage was still pissy about his brother, even if the rapping idiot was perfectly fine. "What does it feel like?"_

_"It feels really warm, like sunshine and happiness." Sasuke gave a long suffering sigh._

_"Naruto...again." He spat. In his mind, he was already planning to kill the blond nuisance, and be done with it. When the chakra finally got within range that he could feel it, he prepared to attack, even though it felt a little off from what he was used to. It wasn't until he got sight of the blond approaching did his mind register that something was really different about him. It wasn't until the blond blur stopped in front of him did he realise what was different. Naruto was a her._

_A very hot her._

_Standing in front of him was a very beautiful blonde woman. At least cantalope sized breasts, a plump rear if he remembered correctly, and a slim, but very curvy shape. Not skinny, but not fat, that perfect size and shape for a kunoichi, with generous proportions in two certain areas up top and down below. What she was wearing, while completely Naruto, also accentuated the girl's sexiness. While she was still wearing that orange and black eyesore, he noticed that it was a little smaller, more to fit her size, and show her shape rather than hide it. Not that it would have done so, since she wore it open. Underneath that was what looked like a combination of a tee-shirt and a black dress. It only came to about midthigh, and had huge slits all the way up to her waist. He could just make out a pair of criminally short and snug, black spandex shorts underneath that. Her cute, dainty feet were covered by a pair of black, legging, shinobi sandals that came up to just above her knee. The entire thing was topped off with a long red cape that came to her knees; black flames running along the bottom in a very familiar design (#). Sasuke could sum up the picture in front of him with one word: pure perfection (1). At least until he saw the blonde pigtails again, and remembered just who it was he was looking at._

_"Naruto?" He asked, wondering why the blond was using that jutsu. Was he trying to entice him back, because disturbingly enough, it was working. "Why do you look like a woman?" The girl blushed, which only made his body temperature rise. Naruto mumbled an answer. "What was that?"_

_"I said I was messing around trying to tease Kakashi-sensei, and I got stuck, okay." Naruto yelled with narrowed eyes._

_"So you're...a girl now." Sasuke questioned, carefully. Naruto, still sulking, nodded. "You're absolutely sure you're a girl, no turning back, right?"_

_"Yeah, teme, so what?" Naruto challenged, not noticing the overly curious tone in his rival's voice. Sasuke got a devious grin on his face. He now had the perfect plan. One that would get him back into Konoha without much hassle (because travelling had gotten boring), and one that would ensure that he revived his clan with the strongest woman possible, and one that wouldn't screw with his bloodline negatively._

_"You're here to bring me back?" Sasuke asked, his plan forming quickly._

_"Yeah, and this time, I really will break every bone in your body if I have to." Naruto _'No, not a boy. Naruko? It'd have to do.'_ replied. Sasuke's grin widened._

_"Alright, I'll make you a deal." The raven haired boy said. "You marry me, and help me revive my clan, and I'll come back with you, no resistance." Karin's eyes went wide, before she screamed in heartbreak. Little did they know that back in Konoha, five people got chilling shudders running up their spines._

_"Okay, but only if I can still be Hokage." Naruko replied. "Boy or girl, I'm not giving up on my dream." Sasuke shrugged; he hadn't expected anything less from a woman worthy of him. In Konoha, the shudders continued, growing in strength._

_"Whatever you want." Sasuke smirked, and sauntered over to Naruko, before grabbing her around the waist and leaning in. "I think we should do this properly this time."_

_"O-okay, Sasuke-kun-" Naruko replied breathlessly._

_**Flashforward...**_

_"You and Sasuke-kun are WHAT?" Sakura yelled, before fainting. She was swiftly joined by the heiresses of two prominent shinobi clans. The two lovebirds ignored them, and continued on their way._

_Later that night, the young Uchiha would find himself seduced by his lover. He'd come home to find her on her hands and knees on the bed wearing nothing but a long white tee-shirt, swaying her vuluptuous curves enticingly(^). Time to practice reviving his clan._

_**Flashforward...**_

_I now pronounce you man and wife." The Hokage said, trying to hold the bile down. "You may kiss your bride." Sasuke and Naruko leaned closer, and..._

_The sound of numerous people retching could be heard moments later._

_**Flashforward...**_

_Sasuke Uchiha was sitting in the office of his family's old home with a pile of papers on his desk. If he'd known that clan politics were just as boring and annoying as village politics, he wouldn't have insisted on reviving his clan. And had he known that clan heads had just as much paperwork to deal with as the Hokage, though admittedly on a much smaller scale, he'd have never taken the title. How his blonde bombshell of a wife dealt with it all, and still had time to goof off in the village was beyond him._

_Sasuke suddenly felt a presence behind him, and immediately recognized it as the woman he'd grown to truly love. He let out a shiver as he felt something soft, agile, and wet caress his neck, and slowly crawl upwards._

_"Mmn, Naruko-chan, you naughty little fox." Sasuke chuckled huskily as the sexy blonde licked behind his ear. "Stop, that tickles." Sasuke turned to find his new wife wearing the Hokage's robe and hat...and nothing else._

_"Mou, I thought we were going to play 'Big Bad Uchiha Tames the Naughty Little Kyuubi' tonight." She pouted cutely. "I even went to the trouble of making a transformation to give myself fox tails. Can't you just make some Kage Bunshin to do your paperwork like I do mine."_

_With a familiar smirk and seal, another Sasuke appeared, and began working on the pile. "That's better. Now we can start work on reviving our clan." Naruko gave a loud "EEP!" as she was snatched up bridal style, and carried to the master bedroom._

_Um yeah, I think that it's about time for us to leave before we get to the part that had him humping his pillow in the real world. My therapy bills are already going to be sickeningly high from what we've seen._

**NB: Run Dream Sequence Abort Code 911**

For those who may be wondering what made Sasuke think that Naruto/Naruko would so quickly and easily agree to be his lover, you have to remember that in the mind of an Uchiha, logic doesn't necessarily exist, and had no bearing on any of their thought processes. Besides, this is the same moron who heard a tale from a man he'd met less than a day before, and took it as the absolute truth without taking a single moment to question whether he was hearing the truth or not.

In his mind, Naruto could completely get stuck in his Oiroke form, and would totally agree to be his lover so long as she wasn't kept from becoming Hokage. Then, because he and Naruko were a couple, and so totally in love, Konoha would take him back and re-instate him as a shinobi, and the Uchiha Clan Head, without any kind of annoying issues like a trial, prison time, or even probation. Executing him for being the traitor that he was certainly wouldn't have even crossed anyone's minds either.

Apparently the universe felt the need to claim penance for the events that took place; even if they were just a figment of the Uchiha's disturbed imagination.

Unfortunately for poor Sasuke, this meant that when he had said Naruko-chan, his sleep addled voice had muddled his words together so that Karin had mistaken it for Naruto-chan. When Sasuke awoke the next morning, he began to notice that Karin was acting odd towards him. In the end, he decided it was for the better. She wasn't laying under him, she wasn't staring at him and blushing, she wasn't giving him that creepy stalker vibe, and she wasn't trying to molest him. All in all, a little bit of coldness from her was a worthwhile trade. If only he knew how much worse it was going to get.

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3 weeks after the failed 'Operation Molest Sasuke'...

"Four chakras, coming from the east." Karin yelled. "One slightly bigger than mine, two slightly smaller than yours, and one that's possibly bigger than all of us combined."

"My old team." Sasuke said. "Do not engage. Conditions are not ideal for victory." Karin sniffed disdainfully. Normally she would have done all she could to convince Sasuke of his superiority, but recent information had changed her opinion of her former hero. At the moment, she was hoping that the one with the giant chakra would remove the waste of sexiness that led their group from this plane of existence, and be man enough to claim her as his own.

"Sasuke!" A loud voice yelled, as four figures appeared. Alas, her hopes were dashed as the one with the giant chakra had spoken.

"Dobe." Sasuke spat apathetically. "Nothing has changed since you last pestered me. What will it take to get that through your thick skull?"

"Oh, come on. You killed Itachi and Danzo, so why won't you come back with us?" Naruto asked.

"Hmph." Karin growled nastily. Under her breath, she added. "Can't believe you want him back; must be a uke."

"What's your problem? " Naruto asked the redhead.

"Yeah Karin, you've been pissier than usual." Suigetsu said. "It's like you're on a permanent period." Karin ignored the walking puddle in favor of addressing the blond.

"I'm trying to figure out why he keeps pretending he doesn't want to go back." Karin spat to the confusion of everyone. Looking directly at Naruto, she added. "You know he's gay for you, right."

"What?" Sakura yelled in panic. Although, it should be noted that both she and her Inner Persona were sporting minor nosebleeds.

"Yeah, I gave him a sedative, and snuck into his room to have my way with him..." She was swiftly interrupted.

"You did WHAT?" Both Sakura and Sasuke yelled.

"Oh come on, I've been throwing myself at you for two years now, and you've ignored me." She said. "What was I supposed to do?" All of the males present were of one mind.

'_You should have gotten the hint._'

All but two, however, were amending the thought with, '_Although, why would you ignore a horny girl who was doing so?_' Unsurprisingly, Sakura could understand the girl's plight, and was cursing herself for not having thought of that all those years ago. "

Anyway, when I went in, I heard him moaning 'Naruto-chan' in his sleep; and he was even humping his pillow." Sasuke's face turned a shade of red that would have made Hinata's best seem pale. Juugo, Kakashi, and Suigetsu all took a step away from the Uchiha. Sai gave that creepy smile of his, while Sakura lost consciousness, her face stained red. Naruto, however, gave him a sad look.

"Look Sasuke, you're like my brother, and I can accept that you like boys." Naruto explained. "And I don't know what you assumed after that incident in the academy, but I like girls."

Thoughts of his recent mission to Demon Country, and the promise he'd made and totally fulfilled came to his mind. He really, really liked girls. Not to mention, he'd noticed that Shion kind of looked like a blond Hinata when he got back. He was definitely going to have to see if they had any more similarities. Getting back to the task at hand, he continued. "The guy behind me knocked me into you, nothing more." He then glared. "And seriously dude, Karin's pretty, and wants in your pants. What the hell are you waiting for?" Yes, Jiraiya succeeded in corrupting Naruto to an extent. "Gay or not, you still want to revive your clan right." Sasuke couldn't take it any more, and blurted out.

"I WAS DREAMING ABOUT YOUR JUTSU YOU USED ALL THE TIME!"

Now, it had been awhile since Naruto had used his Oiroke no Jutsu; it wasn't exactly useful in life threatening situations. There was also the fact that Naruto had only ever used the jutsu once in Sasuke's presence, being that day they'd reviewed Henge (who knew that image had stuck with the guy for so long). That Sasuke was dreaming about Naruto and humping his pillow, coupled with the fact that in his recent required resistence training, Anko-sensei had showed him an entirely different use for Kage Bunshin, Naruto's mind went in an entirely different direction than what the Uchiha was hoping.

"YOU WERE DREAMING ABOUT ME GANGBANGING YOU WITH KAGE BUNSHIN?" Naruto yelled shocked and disgusted.

Suigetsu, Juugo, and Kakashi took another step back. Sai's smile increased to giggling. Sakura, who had just rejoined the land of the conscious, gave a new meaning to the term Red Rocket as he jettisoned twenty feet off the ground from the power of her nose gusher. Sasuke's problem was further added to when Naruto yelled this. In his mind he was still picturing the voluptuous young woman with the pigtails from his dreams (*), and when Naruto said gangbang, the image multiplied into several dozen. Having never seen, known, or really contemplated that Naruto could combine that jutsu and Kage Bunshin, it was a little overwhelming for him, and he passed out with a nosebleed (2). Kakashi, Juugo, and Suigetsu took a few more steps away from the out cold Uchiha.

"That's just wrong in so many ways." Naruto groaned, for the first time questioning whether he wanted to bring Sasuke back.

"Great, now I need a new boytoy to molest, and obsess over. Will you be it? " Karin asked, suddenly latching onto Naruto.

"Wh-why me? " Naruto asked.

"Well, you're handsome enough, I hate Suigetsu, and Juugo scares me. Not to mention you have the biggest chakra here." Karin said, earning a confused look from Naruto. "I'm a chakra sensor, and big chakras kind of turn me on." What could she say, it was a running theme with women in her family-possibly even a recessive bloodline.

"You're not going to drug me, are you? " Naruto asked cautiously.

"If I were to throw myself at you, and constantly try to seduce you, would you turn me away or ignore me? "

"Not unless it was at a really inapproriate time." Naruto answered. "And I doubt I'd really be able to ignore something like that." Karin thought about that for a moment, then nodded.

"Then I don't see a need for sedatives." Inwardly, she was thinking, plotting, and cackling. '_Maybe just an aphrodisiac every once in a while._'

She would come to regret that thought the one time she tried it, and found herself unable to walk for a month. While she was all for the beasting she received, the not walking bit was a bit of an unworthy trade off.

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1. yes, that was intentional, just think about it for a second.

2. If you want an idea of what Sasuke saw when he fainted, then ask, and I'll send you a picture. Be warned, it's very naughty. The same goes for the (^) and (*) and (#).

If you were able to get through the dream sequence without vomiting, I commend you.

Omake Time...

Note: Okay, the story is over, so you can disregard this at your leisure. I only added this because I got an annoyed review about me constantly adding Hinata to couples in my Icha series when I've only done it twice. And if I did do it again, it would only be as an easily available fallback with people that I either couldn't see, or couldn't believably write, Naruto in a long term relationship with. I felt like being a jackass about it, and rather than call someone out like I've seen authors do, I just let my inner jerk handle the situation, creatively. And to be honest, I just wanted an excuse to throw that Lee and Gai scene in, just for humor's sake.

So Naruto gets the kinky, desperately horny girl, but that's not the end of the story. You see, Karin doesn't have a true sexual orientation, she has things that turn her on, and she just tends to collect them. The reason it never came up before...traveling with Sasuke never afforded her the chance to, and with her concentrating on snagging her Bishie, well, it never really came up. What no one knew about the, somewhat demented, redhead, is that shyness turns her on; like majorly turns her on, and we all know who in Konoha fits that bill.

**Omake Begins**

The unlikey group of people soon returned to Konoha. Sasuke was swiftly imprisoned, as was Suigetsu and Juugo. Karin wasn't held, because her major obsession with Naruto's chakras seemed to keep her under control. The other two members of Team Hawk were released later on the grounds that being forced to follow an in the closet Uchiha was enough of a psychological punishment. Juugo eventually agreed to be sedated so that Tsunade could try and help cure his dementia, which took awhile, but was finally achieved.

In more interesting news, about a week after Team Kakashi brought Team Hawk back to Konoha, Hinata, the Hyuuga clan heiress, was kidnapped from her bedroom in the middle of the night. When he learned his daughter was missing, and just after he'd started to come to cherish and accept her, Hiashi made a major bitch about the village's and his family compound's lax security. In an odd turn of events, when one of the Elders mentioned that fortune had smiled on the clan, and that they'd be able to instate Hanabi as the next in line, and the other elders agreed, they found themselves visited one evening by Hiashi, Hanabi, and Neji. It wasn't a good evening to be an Elder that night.

In another odd turn of events, the last place they checked for the missing heiress, which really should have been one of the first places, all things considered, was Naruto's apartment. It was here that they found her, snuggled between Naruto and his chakra junkie (Karin), with a huge megawatt grin on her face. Naruto (who was nude) was spooning Hinata (who was also nude), and Karin (you get the gist by now) was snuggling Hinata; the two women facing each other. She was also curled up into a ball, her face chest level with Hinata, and her lips wrapped around one of the blunette's teats. This caused Hinata to moan and whimper in her sleep, and grind back into Naruto. His reaction, was for his hand to vacate her hip and cup her bountiful breast, and his penis to fill with blood, peeking out several inches from between Hinata's legs. As if sensing the erection, one of Karin's hands grasped it, and began to tease the head. Of the twenty some odd people present, those that had responded to the report of Hinata having been found, 3/4 of them, both male and female, lost consciousness via projectile nosebleed.

A pair of green clad Jounin were also staring at the scene, but had completely disregarded the sensual nude scene in favor of something else entirely irrelevant to most others. With tears flowing freely like a waterfall, Lee cried.

"Gai-sensei, Hinata-san's smile, it's so youthful!" Gai, who was also bawling his eyes out, could only nod in awe. The beauty of the moment was too much for him, and when he opened his arms to his favorite pupil, they quickly found themselves occupied.

"OH LEE!" He cried.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Was the youthful return.

"LEE!"

"GAI- SENSEI!" The two men, who were suprisingly completely heterosexual, embraced valiantly. The sudden appearance of sand, crashing waves, and a beautiful sunset engulfed the room with a pleasant glow. Just past the two embracing men, the three lovers looked to be laying naked on a sandy beach at sunset; the ocean's waves lapping at their feet.

Those that were still conscious after being exposed to the combination of Naruto's massive mushroom, Hinata's titanic tits, and a nude Karin suckling on one of said tit's nipples, took one look at the scene, and had a collective facefault. The thought running through all of their minds...

"What the fuck?"

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Elsewhere...

"Hiashi-sama, we have located Hinata-sama." A Branch member said.

"Where is my daughter?" He growled.

"She was located in the bed of Naruto Uzumaki-san along with Naruto-san's junkie." Hiashi's anger swiftly dissapated.

"Oh, well carry on then." The Branch member looked confused for a moment, before Hiashi elaborated. "I've been expecting that for a long time now, and have had time to come to terms with it. Besides, it's the only way she'll ever gain the confidence to lead the clan as she should." The real reason for Hiashi's swift acceptence though, was that the creepy redhead scared him. And with very good reason.

In his life, Hiashi had only known two redheads. Both were psychotic (one having a fetish with randomly sticking things up people's asses), and both were the lovers of ridiculously powerful men with spikey blond hair, and striking blue eyes (which made any kind of retaliation just not worth the consequences). Considering the relation that the two men in question shared, he wasn't going to take any chances on this one. Kushina was an absolute menace...he was quite sure he didn't want to find out what this redhead was capable of. And given the relation of her lover to the first evil redhead, he knew that the consequences of any retaliation would threaten the sanity and health of all in his clan.

"As you wish, sir." The Bransh member disappeared.


End file.
